A Few Recent Aphorisms

These are all in chronological order (in other words, the oldest one is first).

There are many who view nihilism as something bleak and depressing. In fact, it is potentially the most liberating philosophical position that ever existed. As much as life is meaningless and pointless, so too is dying and death, or really in anything. Many people fear such a thing, but if there was a meaningful point to anything, consider how utterly crushing the weight of that thing would be. To be responsible for maintaining such a thing as meaning or purpose would inherently require one to do and be specifically something suited to such a task. Without meaning, one is free to be or to not be, to do or to not do. Free from the burdens of having to enjoy or suffer, or its inverse of asceticism… even to usurp the chains of absurdity. Continue reading

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Poem: „Sprechen nicht zu mir von der Welt“

Die Welt ist kalt und kühl,
Leben ist ein Tyrann,
Und ich mich einsam fühl’.

Seit dem Tag es begann,
Hat sich mein Leb’ Elend,
Sich keiner mir besann,

Und anderen blühend’
Alle um mich herum
Macht es deprimierend.

Ich denke mir: „Warum?“
Die einzige Antwort …
Schicksal ist ein Monstrum!

Und es gibt keinen Ort
Der Ruhe und Schweigen.
Keinen Platz hier noch dort

Es gibt, in all’ Träumen,
Order jeder Komfort,
Wo ich wirklich leben.

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Responding to Albert Camus on His Faulty Notions Regarding Suicide

Verily, philosophy—when unconcerned with purely explaining the natural world—always becomes a palliative for the intellectual who questions the present and the affects it will have on the impending future. To attempt bringing reason to justifying the existence of a divinity, or to justifying the unnecessity of a divinity, or any other problems or moral quandaries that may arise due to varying views of ‘reality’. However, what philosophy could ever even assuage the horrors endured by those that really see reality, that existence and the world are devoid of all meaning? What could ever truly bring ease to the painful reality of genuine suffering under the weight of the imposition of Life?

When life itself is the enemy, the only heroes are those that die in battle… particularly through rebellion against this greatest of all oppressors, who die by their own hand, rather than the cruelties of their oppressor. And in that act, they truly take and own something by their own choice—their freedom, their death.

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Fäulni’scheißemenschen: Ego Disease—Morality & Value (Part I)

There is no such thing as time—it is a metaphysical, human construct. Despite theories about time travel and space (all of which are built upon the presumptions of certain contingencies as being true when as much evidence exists for their being false), “time” is not there and there is no movement. Time is simply how we understand the chronology of events—“this happened before that”. However, the past no longer exists and the future does not exist. Time is not point moving along a line—it is a singular point that does not move at all. It only appears to move because we put a system of measures on our own movement.

Imagine having a person with blinkers [U.S. blinders - the head gear on a racing horse that eliminates their peripheral vision] suspended in mid-air and physically numbed to tactile sensations. This person can see nothing except a paper with equally spaced divisions repeating over and over. The only sensation this person has remaining is sight. Imagine this person begins to see these repeating sections start to move in one direction or another. The person might assume that the paper was being moved, causing the lines to move past their vision. However, in this scenario, it is the person that moves, and the paper stands still. The paper rule, is time.

For many years, people believed that the sun revolved around the Earth because that is what they perceived. They believe they sense time passing, but in the creation of each new “moment”, the previous “moment” dies, according to an uncommon, but not quite rare, “revelation” of some pseudo intellectuals. Yet there is no new moment or old moment, we are simply watching a rule of measure as we move past it, past things, past events. These things, this “past” exists only in a fragmented and faulty memory.

In this same way, many other metaphysical, human constructs do not actually exist—gods, values, morality… Continue reading

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On Suffering the Oppression of Desire

There is no escaping desire—it is a daily occurrence. Desire is inherently suffering. Even “life-affirming” philosophers agree on this point—such as Kierkegaard in his magnum opus, Either/Or. Desire is a pain meant to motivate one into obtaining the object of that desire. To want what one does not possess causes a longing, which grows more painful the longer that the desire be denied.

Every day has inherent desire for the needs, such as sleep and food. This is exacerbated by the suffering inherent to simply obtaining these base needs. Further still, this desire becomes a chore that must be attended daily. Like Chinese water torture, these desires slowly erode an empty chasm into the soul, where nothing may fill this void. Fulfilment of these desires is a ritual offering thrown down in a vain attempt to slow the deepening of this emptiness.

Yet these desires do not encompass all hours of the day. When these are attenuated, a new desire to cease boredom arises which leads to other desires. Yet these desires, in their fleeting and fickle nature, are often stronger than the necessities. As if Life were not cruel enough, these desired are also the hardest to obtain. Companionship, understanding, being understood or even quite simply to enjoy oneself. A task even more heinously sinister, for it must not simply raise up the spirit as from the ground, but must first overcome the depth to which it has fallen into the chasm.

Eventually, one continues to backslide ever more into the chasm. Engaging the desires quickly begins to lose its effectiveness, and they all become futile efforts to delay the inevitable. They can never truly be fulfilled, continuously returning each day as painful as before, with exponentially decreasing satisfaction on every repetition of the cycle.

One desire—more illogical than any other—is the search for meaning in an ultimately cold, indifferent, meaningless universe. This desire will never be fulfilled and causes the greatest suffering of all. It is the cornerstone for many of the life-affirming philosophers, the basic drive meant to keep one going. The desire for life and living, particularly of good life and living, is the most painful and most impossible to satiate.

There is only one desire which can ever be truly and permanently fulfilled, ending all suffering… to put to rest all other desires. It is the desire to let go and fall into the void—the desire for Death.

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If the Universe Were Sentient

A man called out to the universe and it answered back to him. He said:
“I am thoroughly done with this thing called life”.

The universe asked him what was wrong and he responded:
“What is the point in living in a world without meaning? Even if I were to have the happiest, most joyful life of any man, I will eventually die and all that I experienced would be for nought. Why waste time delaying the inevitable when there is no inherent meaning to life?”

The universe was not satisfied that even one person would not want life and decided to bargain with him, offering the man immortality with eternal youth along with a guarantee that he would never be harmed and would never have to work to sustain his life. The man responded:
“Why would I ever want such a thing? Eventually, I will achieve everything there is—I will learn all things, I will try all things and succeed in all things. I will grow bored and will have done all there is to do and experienced all there is to experience except death. I would be perpetually bored, waiting to witness the end of all things, and then must exist in nothingness”.

The universe became disturbed at the notions of what this man was saying. It began to question what it had done and why it allowed for sentience to begin. Then it thought about how equally pointless would be a life without sentience, even if it was more free of pain. The universe then fell into a pit of depression and curled into the foetal position, crushing itself under its own weight until finally, everything reached a point that was very nearly a singularity. The pressure became to great at this point and the universe screamed out across the nothingness, to repeat once more the meaningless cycle of pain and suffering.

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Fäulni’scheißemenschen: Ego Frailty

If you are nothing without something, then you were never very much to begin with.

When something is so ingrained into one’s ego, anything that even seemingly threatens that thing also threatens to shatter the ego along with it… and I can think of nothing more fragile than the human ego. When one becomes their purpose or cause, and if having only one, threatening that cause by simply even not agreeing with it is taken as a personal attack that they feel they must defend. The result is often a knee-jerk emotional response that lacks any semblance of sound reason.

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„Porträt meiner Innerste‟

(2014, July) „Porträt meiner Innerste‟

(2014, July) „Porträt meiner Innerste‟ [ash, oil and blood on canvas]

*Translation: “Portrait of my [Inner-self]”. Innerste doesn’t directly translate to English, but it means… “the deepest area in the inner-experience of being”.

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Awaiting the End

Were I even able to find happiness in my dreams, I would sleep forever. No, even in repose do I find no rest for me. I close my eyes and the best I can hope is to wake without remembering any of the horrors I suffer in my mind. Death, I certainly hope, is not an eternal rest. I would much prefer it to be a permanent end, an assimilation into nothingness where pain dwells no more.

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Birth

When we are born: we are thrust into the world, screaming in pain and confusion. What a perfect omen for what is to come…

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