On Understanding (In Brief)

I understand more than what people realise… and far more than I care to.

It is too easy for people to simply say things. And they have said so much, so empty and for so long, that words have less impact than a drop of rain in the ocean. Vacuous pleasantries and condolences offered up do absolutely nothing to change the world and serve only the purpose of hiding your selfishness from the blind.

So here, alone I sit, becoming the abyss I had no choice but to gaze upon; becoming the daemons I had no choice but to fight alone. Soon, I’ll not even be recognised as human…

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You Can’t Save Me (A Rant)

Pro tip: if I don’t ask for your fucking opinion, I don’t fucking want it, so don’t fucking give it to me. Whatever you THINK I want or need or am is probably fucking wrong, so don’t fucking make suggestions or try to tell me about my life or try to “fix” what you think is broken. You can’t fix the whole fucking world, you can’t fix my fucking past, or my present, or my future. I need a LIFE, not a fucking friend. You can’t give me a fucking life, nobody can, so quit fucking trying. Your naïveté is more annoying to me that the shitty fucking advice you give. Your puerility is utterly revolting and I hope you die a painful and agonising death.

I have at least two really good friends even if they live nowhere near me and a handful of half-ass “friends” that do live near me and a few associates. I have plenty of fucking friends.

FUCK why does everything with a vagina have to try to “fix” every man they perceive as “broken”? God damn it, that’s it. No more even being friends with women. What I have now will be it. If they don’t stick around, then I’ll just never have female friends ever again. “But I want to help”. No, you don’t—your lady parts just make you want to “mother” me like an insufferable hen, to coddle me and say it will all be OK. Grow up and fuck off.

There is no such thing as compassion or sympathy. That’s a load of horse-shit fed to you by others who want to use you. That’s all anyone is or does. Those with genuine compassion or sympathy end up hater of all or are killed by the leeches who drain them. You can all stab each other in the back from now on and leave me out of it. Two-faced fucking selfish, ALL OF YOU! You can’t even fucking see it. You say you’re doing it to help the other, but you’re not. You’re only doing it to get something YOU want. I watch you all stab one-another in the back and blame it on your neighbour, and you all know you’re doing it and know the truth and continue with the bullshit. You’re so fucking transparent and you can’t even see your own shit anymore.

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Lonlieness and the Intellectual Male (Updated)

I am going to go “out on a limb” here and be a bit presumptuous, despite my past experience being entirely to the contrary, in that reader is smarter than what I give them credit for and understands what generalities and speaking in generalisations entails. That, though stated as if a normative, are actually not meant to apply literally to everyone in the target group about which the generalisations are formed. Do you like my politically safe way of addressing my concerns about what I am about to write? Does it warn you of what is to come without seeming as though I am assuming you will misinterpret it?


Today, I want to write about something I’ve been dealing with for a long time, but currently is a much larger issue for me: loneliness. I do not feel as though I am being arrogant in saying that I am an intellectual (“a person who enjoys mental activity and has highly developed tastes in art, literature, etc”). I am not saying it is good or better to be an intellectual than to not be or that intellectuals are necessarily more correct on things than others. Continue reading

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Philosophy Lecture Sampled in Song

It appears that an artist in Spain sampled my philosophy lecture on misanthropy (which can be found on the YouTube, link opens in a new window) for a song. TECH-NOMADER – Misanthropy – alias “Metralla” (SoundCloud link, opens in a new window).

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New Art Series

I have begun a new art series called „Die Nachkommenschaft von Henry Spencer“. The whole series will be a mixed media of charcoal and blood on canvas. Two works have been finished already („Raketenchirurgie“ and „Selbstporträt: Der Preis des Lebenskrieges“), another has been started („Um allein zu stehen“), and yet another is planned („Sklavenschleifer“). There will be more than just the four. Click the images for full size.

„Selbstporträt: Der Preis des Lebenskrieges‟

„Selbstporträt: Der Preis des Lebenskrieges‟ (January 2014)


„Raketenchirurgie‟ (January 2014)

„Um allein zu stehen“ (unfinished)

„Um allein zu stehen“ (unfinished)

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The One Problem I Have with Religion…

This came from a discussion I had on a philosophy sub-forum. The context is irrelevant. Continue reading

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Looking for Work

Posts have been far and few between for a while now because I have been looking for a job. That being said, let me rant on that briefly… Continue reading

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William Wordsworth was a Pretentious Cunt

This was inspired by reading his preface to his own ballad poetry…


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Rant on “Readers”

I have read all my life and never was [or felt] special for it, nor was I ever picked on for it. Now, people shun you for not reading, act as though they are picked on for it and just generally get really pretentious (masturbating over the same Vonnegut and John Green books). Everyone reads these days because it is the “uncool-cool” thing to do. I love reading, but now, I almost never tell people I read—I actually am almost ashamed to say I read… all because of these stupid pricks. You know how many time these “book readers” have shunned me for never reading ‘Harry Potter’ or [insert other really popular books here]? Apparently, reading isn’t important, just reading the right thing. They’ve even bled over into satire by shunning Maddox for making videos instead of articles, despite the fact that most videos are posted with extra stuff in article form (meaning they care less about reading and more about being anti-film/video). I guess that also makes them even more like vegans in that they care more about being recognised as an animal lover or better than everyone else for not eating meat, despite the fact that eating a vegan diet is more harmful to the environment and hurts more animal life than being a meat eater (look up the Least Harm Principle)—contrarians who care more about looking like they care and feeling special/different/better than everyone else than they do about actually whatever it is they are supporting. They’re just anti-”new”-media, following in the footsteps of the original hipster, Ray Bradbury. Modern reading fanatics act the same way as vegans and religious fanatics—pretentious, self-righteous and shunning you from their illusory high-horse. “I haven’t watched television for five years”. Good for you, want a fucking trophy? I have read AND watched television; not all television is crap, nor is one [reading vs television] superior to the other. Not all modern book readers, just most who are extremely open, usually the first to say “read a book” and do that thing in public where they read out-loud just enough for people to hear they are reading but not exactly what they are reading to hopefully entice some dipshit into asking what they are reading so they can condescendingly masturbate to them.

Check some of this out:

Shit Book Snobs Say: Translations (Bookriot.com)
Why book snobs are worse than Kindle fans (The Telegraph)

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American Education…


The perfect metaphor of American education: this required “book”—a collection of loose papers that they didn’t even take the time to put a cheap plastic binding ring on—is over $200 USD (€150+ Eur). I tried to fight against shit like this, but I stood alone and was snuffed out. Good job guys, YOU (collectively) let them rape you, and they went in dry. Makes it even worse knowing tuition is $5,000 – $15,000 USD (€3670 – €11011 Eur) per semester (that’s not counting lab fees or university fees or registration fees or fee fees…). Then, when all is said and done, you’ll still have to pay to take many of your tests (since Scantron sheets cost around $5 USD for a pack of 3 and many teachers require them for tests and they are not covered in the multiple tuition fees and university fees you pay).


And this is the receipt for just 6 books/“books”…

And some comic “relief” for all of this:


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