No New Posts for a While (AKA Fuck You WordPress)

Holy shit, the new WordPress sucks dick. I may never make another post again. It’s horrendously fucking slow, horribly lain out with the worst “flow” imaginable, nothing is intuitive or easy to find (still can’t figure out, after 15 minutes, how to make a post to my blog since they’ve redesigned everything)…

And comments already turned off for their post about their new My Sites page. My guess too many people were bitching about it? Also, people were claiming it to be faster? Fuck no it isn’t.

What’s with this new trend in Internet/website design where everything looks like it was designed by primary school children with bombastic colours and unnecessarily huge spacing and fonts and juts this hideous fucking jumbled mess of shit?

It took me 20 minutes to figure out how to get to the God damn dashboard of my blog.

Because of this retarded fucking trend, I will not be posting a while, at least not here. I will see if there’s another blog hosting site that isn’t hopping on this dick shitting, over-engineering trend of making everything a pain in the ass to use and an eyesore for anyone with half a fucking brain cell.

Fuck you, WordPress, fuck you hard.

And no, this is not some basic “aversion to change” as some might thing. I don’t mind change. Sometimes, change is good. This change though is one that is never good. The change of websites to very OBNOXIOUS and LOUD and hideous design. Also, how the fuck are any of these changes making it “easier”? I used to go to the WordPress homepage and everything was neatly organised and I could, with a single fucking click, go to any dashboard or any section of any administration of any blog that I have. Now, it takes AT MINIMUM, 3 fucking clicks just to get to the option to go to my blog’s dashboard.

This shit is in no way “easier” or “faster”. It’s just hiding all the options in multiple, unnecessary levels of menus behind loud colours of over-sized boxes and areas that are unevenly scattered around with no real flow at all. Absolutely nothing is there to guide the users’ eyes toward where the actual menu is, which is a white fucking button with a very light grey border on a practically fucking white background.  This very light blue with the white boxes on this particular edit page is also causing me a fucking headache. Not because it’s so light in colour, but because the blue is so light and there’s no fucking contrast between the background and the God damn white boxes on top of it that it’s causing eye strain.

Easier my ass, faster my ass. What a God damn load of horse shit. Almost makes me want to revive my AntInternet (Anti-Internet) blog just to rip the piss out of them and show them the numerous flaws in the very fundamental nature of design and ease of use and functionality.

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Chaotic Misanthropy

With every successive generation, people become aware of various forms of injustice and indoctrinations in all groups and ideologies. I wonder if ever there will be an entire generation to realise this unending cycle of history, and that the truth of the source is inherently human nature. As humans, we’re inherently flawed… even those that are aware of this tragedy are equally self-aware of its course through them and their own powerlessness to stop it by any means other than death.

Of course this is no statement of hope for seeing such a generation, merely a bored mind curious as to what would happen in such a, more than likely impossible, state.

Do not misinderstand misanthropy as an angst-ridden, simplistic hatred of mankind. Not all misanthropy is unjustified, nor is it the case that all of misanthropy would simply revel in watching man burn—some of misanthropy is merely disillusioned reality, cold and pragmatic, unmotivated even by “moralistic compassion” for that which is hurt by mankind. The chaotic misanthrope recognises the reality of human morals—viz. that morality doesn’t exist and is a purely human construct that is created for survival or to give meaning to meaningless actions—and engages in them purely for survival or communication. It’s not easy for people to understand something that truly has no direction.

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A Few Recent Aphorisms

These are all in chronological order (in other words, the oldest one is first).

There are many who view nihilism as something bleak and depressing. In fact, it is potentially the most liberating philosophical position that ever existed. As much as life is meaningless and pointless, so too is dying and death, or really in anything. Many people fear such a thing, but if there was a meaningful point to anything, consider how utterly crushing the weight of that thing would be. To be responsible for maintaining such a thing as meaning or purpose would inherently require one to do and be specifically something suited to such a task. Without meaning, one is free to be or to not be, to do or to not do. Free from the burdens of having to enjoy or suffer, or its inverse of asceticism… even to usurp the chains of absurdity. Continue reading

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Poem: „Sprechen nicht zu mir von der Welt“

Die Welt ist kalt und kühl,
Leben ist ein Tyrann,
Und ich mich einsam fühl’.

Seit dem Tag es begann,
Hat sich mein Leb’ Elend,
Sich keiner mir besann,

Und anderen blühend’
Alle um mich herum
Macht es deprimierend.

Ich denke mir: „Warum?“
Die einzige Antwort …
Schicksal ist ein Monstrum!

Und es gibt keinen Ort
Der Ruhe und Schweigen.
Keinen Platz hier noch dort

Es gibt, in all’ Träumen,
Order jeder Komfort,
Wo ich wirklich leben.

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Responding to Albert Camus on His Faulty Notions Regarding Suicide

Verily, philosophy—when unconcerned with purely explaining the natural world—always becomes a palliative for the intellectual who questions the present and the affects it will have on the impending future. To attempt bringing reason to justifying the existence of a divinity, or to justifying the unnecessity of a divinity, or any other problems or moral quandaries that may arise due to varying views of ‘reality’. However, what philosophy could ever even assuage the horrors endured by those that really see reality, that existence and the world are devoid of all meaning? What could ever truly bring ease to the painful reality of genuine suffering under the weight of the imposition of Life?

When life itself is the enemy, the only heroes are those that die in battle… particularly through rebellion against this greatest of all oppressors, who die by their own hand, rather than the cruelties of their oppressor. And in that act, they truly take and own something by their own choice—their freedom, their death.

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Fäulni’scheißemenschen: Ego Disease—Morality & Value (Part I)

There is no such thing as time—it is a metaphysical, human construct. Despite theories about time travel and space (all of which are built upon the presumptions of certain contingencies as being true when as much evidence exists for their being false), “time” is not there and there is no movement. Time is simply how we understand the chronology of events—“this happened before that”. However, the past no longer exists and the future does not exist. Time is not point moving along a line—it is a singular point that does not move at all. It only appears to move because we put a system of measures on our own movement.

Imagine having a person with blinkers [U.S. blinders - the head gear on a racing horse that eliminates their peripheral vision] suspended in mid-air and physically numbed to tactile sensations. This person can see nothing except a paper with equally spaced divisions repeating over and over. The only sensation this person has remaining is sight. Imagine this person begins to see these repeating sections start to move in one direction or another. The person might assume that the paper was being moved, causing the lines to move past their vision. However, in this scenario, it is the person that moves, and the paper stands still. The paper rule, is time.

For many years, people believed that the sun revolved around the Earth because that is what they perceived. They believe they sense time passing, but in the creation of each new “moment”, the previous “moment” dies, according to an uncommon, but not quite rare, “revelation” of some pseudo intellectuals. Yet there is no new moment or old moment, we are simply watching a rule of measure as we move past it, past things, past events. These things, this “past” exists only in a fragmented and faulty memory.

In this same way, many other metaphysical, human constructs do not actually exist—gods, values, morality… Continue reading

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On Suffering the Oppression of Desire

There is no escaping desire—it is a daily occurrence. Desire is inherently suffering. Even “life-affirming” philosophers agree on this point—such as Kierkegaard in his magnum opus, Either/Or. Desire is a pain meant to motivate one into obtaining the object of that desire. To want what one does not possess causes a longing, which grows more painful the longer that the desire be denied.

Every day has inherent desire for the needs, such as sleep and food. This is exacerbated by the suffering inherent to simply obtaining these base needs. Further still, this desire becomes a chore that must be attended daily. Like Chinese water torture, these desires slowly erode an empty chasm into the soul, where nothing may fill this void. Fulfilment of these desires is a ritual offering thrown down in a vain attempt to slow the deepening of this emptiness.

Yet these desires do not encompass all hours of the day. When these are attenuated, a new desire to cease boredom arises which leads to other desires. Yet these desires, in their fleeting and fickle nature, are often stronger than the necessities. As if Life were not cruel enough, these desired are also the hardest to obtain. Companionship, understanding, being understood or even quite simply to enjoy oneself. A task even more heinously sinister, for it must not simply raise up the spirit as from the ground, but must first overcome the depth to which it has fallen into the chasm.

Eventually, one continues to backslide ever more into the chasm. Engaging the desires quickly begins to lose its effectiveness, and they all become futile efforts to delay the inevitable. They can never truly be fulfilled, continuously returning each day as painful as before, with exponentially decreasing satisfaction on every repetition of the cycle.

One desire—more illogical than any other—is the search for meaning in an ultimately cold, indifferent, meaningless universe. This desire will never be fulfilled and causes the greatest suffering of all. It is the cornerstone for many of the life-affirming philosophers, the basic drive meant to keep one going. The desire for life and living, particularly of good life and living, is the most painful and most impossible to satiate.

There is only one desire which can ever be truly and permanently fulfilled, ending all suffering… to put to rest all other desires. It is the desire to let go and fall into the void—the desire for Death.

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If the Universe Were Sentient

A man called out to the universe and it answered back to him. He said:
“I am thoroughly done with this thing called life”.

The universe asked him what was wrong and he responded:
“What is the point in living in a world without meaning? Even if I were to have the happiest, most joyful life of any man, I will eventually die and all that I experienced would be for nought. Why waste time delaying the inevitable when there is no inherent meaning to life?”

The universe was not satisfied that even one person would not want life and decided to bargain with him, offering the man immortality with eternal youth along with a guarantee that he would never be harmed and would never have to work to sustain his life. The man responded:
“Why would I ever want such a thing? Eventually, I will achieve everything there is—I will learn all things, I will try all things and succeed in all things. I will grow bored and will have done all there is to do and experienced all there is to experience except death. I would be perpetually bored, waiting to witness the end of all things, and then must exist in nothingness”.

The universe became disturbed at the notions of what this man was saying. It began to question what it had done and why it allowed for sentience to begin. Then it thought about how equally pointless would be a life without sentience, even if it was more free of pain. The universe then fell into a pit of depression and curled into the foetal position, crushing itself under its own weight until finally, everything reached a point that was very nearly a singularity. The pressure became to great at this point and the universe screamed out across the nothingness, to repeat once more the meaningless cycle of pain and suffering.

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Fäulni’scheißemenschen: Ego Frailty

If you are nothing without something, then you were never very much to begin with.

When something is so ingrained into one’s ego, anything that even seemingly threatens that thing also threatens to shatter the ego along with it… and I can think of nothing more fragile than the human ego. When one becomes their purpose or cause, and if having only one, threatening that cause by simply even not agreeing with it is taken as a personal attack that they feel they must defend. The result is often a knee-jerk emotional response that lacks any semblance of sound reason.

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„Porträt meiner Innerste‟

(2014, July) „Porträt meiner Innerste‟

(2014, July) „Porträt meiner Innerste‟ [ash, oil and blood on canvas]

*Translation: “Portrait of my [Inner-self]”. Innerste doesn’t directly translate to English, but it means… “the deepest area in the inner-experience of being”.

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